The secret to get what you want is revealed. Simply by giving. The reasons are explained using the classic philosophical question: “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?” The chicken and the egg, which forms the circle of life, serves as a profound analogy to giving and getting what we want: the circle of joy. The concept is explained in the clear and refreshing voice of Masami Sato, the author of ONE Book.
As humans, many of us have longings for all kinds of things. And of course, theories of economics inform us that while requirements are unlimited, resources remain limited. This provokes us to think, the more the range of resources that we have, the more the longing that we will be able to fulfill. That is why we tend to defend our resources. We feel that dividing it between others or giving the resources away will reduce the amount we can retain to get what we ourselves want. This is the basic game of success and failure that is being acted out.
Is this true, then?
What if the answer was “no”? What if it actually contradicts the secret of getting more? What if the secret to get more is simple – by giving more?
You can get something simply by giving. Just like you can have eggs by breeding chickens. Just like that. Natural. Automatic. And it’s an absolutely joyful experience.
First, let us start with a small comparison to explain things.
Chicken and Egg: The Circle of Life
Philosophers have made this query ever since time dawned, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”
The answer to this endless discussion is simple: It actually doesn’t matter because both chickens and eggs are here now. But if we want to have more great outcomes, we can choose to start somewhere.
Giving and Receiving: the Circle of Joy
What if we asked the question in a different manner? “Which comes first, giving or receiving?”
Again, if we want a better outcome, we should choose to start somewhere. Giving off things to others is certainly easier than striving to get it first!
What happens if we are trying to get it first?
If we hope to have something, surely we would try to acquire it. And once we get it, we would cling on to it. This is surely natural – it makes sense rationally.
But the actual upshot of ‘striving to get’ is often not profusion and actual long-term recompense.
For example, desiring to see others joyful is not about finding the joy from them or managing them to become happy. It is about how much pleasure we can give them and share with them. Period.
So how do we begin to get what we desire?
From the other end of the circle – by giving generously!
When we are ready to give away first before we have even got what we hope for – what we are dreaming of – we are sending a strong message to ourselves which says, ‘there is enough, and more will come.’ It lets us feel the joy today – the joy of sharing.
We only need to give out the love generously to others. It simply comes back to us. Giving love is the only way to be generously loved. When we acknowledge everyone for the great things they do and the great qualities they have, again it comes back to us. Others acknowledge us because we acknowledge them.
In the same way, if we wanted to have enough in our life materially, financially and emotionally, we just need to share the things we want generously with others.
Some would give more physically by giving their time. Some would give more financially by giving money away. The people who give more (time, money, kindness, love, ideas) have more of these things because that’s the balance. And balance is the natural law of life.
Remind oneself of the rules of the game.
Rule one: never hope to get anything in return when a thing is given.
When we have the anticipation that giving involves ‘getting’ something back, we become unhappy when we do not see the thing returning to us fast. We may even feel unhappy towards the one who gets the gift. And having a negative feeling for someone is definitely not a right state of affairs! So we can know the real pleasure of giving when we are doing it with the awareness that we are actually doing it for ourselves – we are doing it for our own pleasure!
Losing to win, giving to get..
It may initially feel like we are losing out. Yet at some level we know that getting without giving is not a sustainable life model. And we’ve known that from the very beginning. That’s why tithing has been such a natural part of the lives of many successful people. And they didn’t always do it publicly so it wasn’t done to gain a better reputation. It was just because that was the way it was.
Just take a look around. ‘Simple’ forms of life on the earth do it routinely. The bumblebees fertilize the flowers in return for the honey they take from them and ensure that the flowers bloom profusely. Habitually. That is the rule. They do not do it consciously. That is why they maintain nature’s balance, without even trying.
Giving is just a part of who we are, the same as having; nothing more or less. No complications, no strings attached; just letting go.
The gist of getting more can be summarised into two steps: Give first, and do not hope to get anything in return.
When we let go and give wholeheartedly, what we need will be given to us. Automatically.
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